mind and muse

Personally, college was something I never really gave a whole lot of thought in high school. I never had a “dream school” or a specific college town in mind, so I realized very quickly that picking somewhere would ultimately be pretty easy. I applied to just my state schools in Iowa, but ended up choosing my local community college in the end. Money was a huge reason why I took this route, so with that in mind, i’m content and love the decision that I made.

With that, I want to discuss the hardships that come with not only the community college path, but just the college experience in general.

Whenever someone asks me what i’m doing and/or where i’m going, and I say said community college, the immediate response is always the same. “Oh that’s ok!”…I don’t think anyone has ever said “Oh that’s great, good for you!” or “How do you like it?”. I always just accept the first common response and smile it off. All of the backhanded “Ok’s” I get from middle aged woman was something I did not dissect when I made the decision of not choosing a 4-year university. As if anyone other than myself, knows what’s best for me. Better status? I’ll never really know. College is all about what’s best for you and what you want for your future. To overcome the passive-aggressive responses, I simply sit back and say let them, and let me do me. Because at this age, I think it’s so easy for people to have their opinions on our lives. Even though there are so many other subcategories of the college conversation, I still do believe a lot of judgement comes with this huge stage of life. And that in of itself is important to address and navigate.

Saying “let them” can definitely be hard more times than not, but it’s worth it to know that my life is all mine, and if you’re happy, no one can tell you you’re not successful. When i’m older I aspire to be the woman to say “That’s amazing!” to any decision in someones game of life, no matter what it is. Because now I know, it’s so important to have people who don’t try to reassure you of something that is already perfectly up to par, simply because of a warped perception. True support is more important than ever in this era of life.

College has pressure written all over it in so many ways.

I think the pressure of balancing everything that comes with being a student has been blown way out of proportion, and overdone. Between internships, homework, classes, personal life, jobs, and whatever else, it’s all truly insane. So I ask myself, why do we do this to ourselves? Of course we all go to college to get a degree and work towards our future careers, but I just mean why do we put way too much weight on our shoulders? And why do we willingly bite off way more than we can chew? I think students that tackle all of it are not only some of the smartest, but the strongest as well. Sometimes I think we do so much that causes us stress simply to prove something. I haven’t quite unpacked what that “something” may look like yet, but that may just come with more time. I truly do believe that being in college naturally comes with unnecessary pressure and demand, which is ill-fated. However, maybe instead of a view that’s so unfavorable, we can look at is as preparation for whatever what lies ahead. I know that’s an incredibly cliche thing to say, but it’s true. I’ve realized after apply a high level of radical optimism, to anything in life, I’ve begun to reframe the way I interpret setbacks. Perspective really is everything, if you let it be.

Whether you are studying medicine, engineering, finance, or something artistic, we all feel the fear of the uncertainty. It’s something I get anxious over every single day. Anxiety isn’t really something that is curable, it comes and gos. But, we can cure the way we deal with it. Though I find a lot of overstimulation in the college experience, I think it is one of the biggest privileges in our lives as young adults. The opportunity to succeed, to open your eyes to life changing experiences, and everything the college world introduces you to.

Pressure really can be a privilege.

To help the everyday stress as a college student, I simply look in the mirror and tell myself that everything IS ok. It WILL all work out no matter what. I WILL succeed. Sometimes, if giving yourself those affirmations is all you can do in the moment, that is enough.

All in all, college can feel like a constant weight of expectations, deadlines, and uncertainty. But maybe the pressure isn’t a sign that we’re failing…it’s proof that we’re pushing ourselves to grow. And even on the hardest days, that growth is worth something.