mind and muse

Creativity is a word the average person is impressed by, but in reality it doesn’t exist at all times, and those moments where creativity lacks is sort of scary. Right now, I am building my future around my “creative” abilities. I go to school for art, which again is structured around expressiveness and not much else; of course natural talent and learned techniques go into the craft as well, however it’s an area in which revolves around your own opinions, emotions, ideas, and general originality. I find myself constantly getting so frustrated by the expectations of every piece I make being “genius”, instead of just making work that feels like me.

To build off of lack of creativity at times, it goes into an everyday routine as well. People on the internet constantly trying to find an “aesthetic’ or their “thing” in which you’re suppose to carry forever, in some ways I love discovering random details about myself that are to be considered different and “my own”. But in general, why can’t my “thing” just simply be living my own unique life. I think social media has yet again taken the way we live and put a huge expectation on fitting into a specific niche, or aesthetic for that matter. Simply making it more difficult than it needs to be; it all gets so overwhelming, at least to me.

Why can it feel socially unacceptable to not have it all figured out?

I’m a type A person through and through, so, anything that pops up in my life that is a minor uncertainty, or something I should figure out, I go into a slight panic. The reason I bring this up, is because I feel as though that doubt sometimes creeps into the imaginative side of my brain. It’s like I see or hear something, and i immediately think that’s what I should be doing, so when i’m trying to create art, sometimes it comes from my head and not my heart. The number one reason why I knew from a young age this is what I wanted to do is because it’s an activity where for the most, there are no strings attached. There is so much opportunity, room to grow, and options around anything in art, and not only art, but anything.

Every artists dreads the artists block, those moments where innovativeness lacks. Overcoming it can be so aggravating, especially in a mindset where creativity feels so far away. But maybe it’s not a stage of feeling “uncreative”, instead it’s just measuring my ideas against impossible standards.

I don’t necessarily need a breakthrough right now, but instead a more honest start without an unrealistic expectation.