mind and muse

It’s officially been summer for several weeks now, but I feel like we’re still in the dreary spring. 4th of July was this weekend, and summer has mentally not clicked for me yet. How did that happen? Maybe it’s my summer classes, work, etc. No matter what, something has to change here soon.

9 people I know have gone somewhere in Europe over the last 3 months. I also have seen 2 girls my age post their engagements on Instagram, with another announcing her pregnancy. I don’t know where I have been, or where these things started, but it all feels ill-timed. I feel like a lot of moments in my life have felt very “missing the memo” as of lately, and those huge announcements have made me even more woke. When did girls in their 20s decide they wanted to live on the West Coast? When did non-New Yorkers start caring about the Knicks and sugar-free diets? I simply feel like somewhere in between capri leggings and girls posting to Sade, i’ve fallen behind. This isn’t to say I don’t like a quick moving line of trends and niches, I just question sometimes if we as a society are slowly but surely losing our attention span on interests. The way we as humans are able to move through pop culture the way we do is incredible, and might I add, a little scary.

If these same people weren’t allowed to post on Instagram or share these events to the public, would they still proceed?

The other day in my car I was listening to The Cure on shuffle. For the first time, I really noticed how lengthy their intros to majority of songs were. 1:30 AT LEAST, of just instrumentals. I love The Cure for that exact reason, the way their songs build up is just incredible. With that being said, I couldn’t help but wonder, “how many people skip amazing songs simply because the intro is too long?”. That same question comes to my mind a lot in real life too. How many people quit, and jump to the next milestone without enjoying any sort of transition time?

The Cure gave me this thought in my head. It’s easy to appreciate a slow building song, but somehow life and insane social status expectations seem to be jumping right to the chorus, with no patience. Young people seem to only celebrate the big moments like traveling to Europe or getting engaged, but when was the last time we acknowledged the small moments in between? The more I think about it, the more I realize we’ve just become so uncomfortable with waiting. That’s why it’s so easy to look around and wonder if these people are somehow further ahead.

I think adjusting to other people’s lives is an interesting mind boggler, because it happens wether you realize it or not I think. For example, seeing these milestones gain a ton of attraction on social media has made me question if what i’m doing is enough. Even though deep down I know my life is exactly where I want, what if I had spent my summer prancing around Spain eating pastries instead. At least, that’s what goes on in MY mind. As for other life changing events, having kids and getting married. I’m 19 years old and those concepts sound outrageous right now, because why would I want that for myself? Maybe eventually. Even though I know what I want for now, comparison will always manage to linger. Do people genuinely want those things this early in life? Are they just programmed to do what their parents did? Or is it truly right. I’ll never know because it’s not my business or my life, but it does make me wonder so many things. I think in conclusion, for my own sake, I wish the world would just slow down a bit.

Anyways, I feel like I need to start planning a trip to France for 2029.